Forums - The lounge
Subject: A Joke Introduction
Original Message 1/11 07-Jan-03 @ 04:32 PM - A Joke Introduction
> >
> >
> > >Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to
> >bury
> > >my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he
> > >says.
> > >
> > >
> > >"You dirty bastard!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my
> >husband."
> > >The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe.
> > >
> > >The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to
> >pull
> > >your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and
lick
> >it
> > >all off."
> > >
> > >She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!" Again,
the
> > >bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again.
> > >
> > >"One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now - what do you want?" "I want
to
> > >turn you upside down, tear your knickers off and fill your pussy with
> > >Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup."
> > >
> > >The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to
> > >fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly.
> > >
> > >"What's up love?" he asks. "There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put
> >his
> > >head between my tits and lick the sweat off" she says. "I'll kill him.
> > >Where
> > >is he?" storms the husband.
> > >
> > >"Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and
> > >lick
> > >it off!" she screams. "Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching
for
> >a
> > >cricket bat.
> > >
> > >"Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy with
> >Guinness
> > >and then drink it all," she cries!
> > >
> > >The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches
> >the
> > >telly back on.
> > >
> > >"Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically.
> > >
> > >"Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can drink 15 pints of
> > >Guinness..."
> >
Message 2/11 07-Jan-03 @ 05:28 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
(Welcome to DT.)
psy
Message 4/11 09-Jan-03 @ 04:42 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 6/11 09-Jan-03 @ 06:40 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
A ventriloquist (bellyspeaker) is visiting Wales and wants to screw around with this Welsh farmer he meets.
So he walks up to the farmer and says:"Is that horse yours?"
bedwyr: "Yesh is ish."
ventriloquist: "does it talk?"
bedwyr: "no, sir, it doeshn't"
ventriloquist: "Goodday horsey"
horse: "G'day"
ventriloquist: "Is that your master?"
horse: "Yes, he is"
ventriloquist: "Does he treat you right?"
horse: "Yes, he feeds me hay, rides me everyday and grooms my manes and hide every morning and afternoon."
After seeing this the farmer is totally flabberghasted. The ventriloquist asks the farmer if the dog that's sitting at his feet is also his. Bedwyr replies "Yesh it's my dahg"
ventriloquist: "Does it know how to talk?"
Bedwyr: "No my good shir, dahgs can't speak!"
ventriloquist "Hello doggy!"
dog: "Hello there!"
ventriloquist "is this farmer your master?"
dog: "Jup, Bedwyr is my master!"
ventriloquist "Is you master treating you well?"
dog: "Oh yes he is. He talks me for walks three times a day. I get frozen meat twice a dag and a fresh bone to gnaw on each week. At night he let's me sleep at his feet near the fireplace!"
By now the farmer is totally, totally astounded.
The ventriloquist then point out the sheep that are roaming around the green pastures of Wales. And then asks: "Are those your sheep dear Welshman?"
By now Bedwyr is jumping up and down hysterically screaming: "Don't listen to those sheep, they're all lyers"
Message 7/11 09-Jan-03 @ 06:41 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
Message 8/11 09-Jan-03 @ 08:23 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
still brother and sister?
Message 9/11 09-Jan-03 @ 08:25 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
she can taste it on her son's dick! i'm soooo sorry...
psy
Message 10/11 10-Jan-03 @ 05:57 PM - RE: A Joke Introduction
oh yeah, lol@ dominic for the first joke too
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