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Forums - The lounge
Subject: Joketime
Original Message Date: 08-Aug-08 @ 12:22 AM - Joketime
A husband and wife are taking a tour of a beef ranch. The rancher brings them over to a bull and tells them, "This bull mates 182 times a year". The wife turns to her husband and says "Wow hun that's twice a week. Impressive bull don't you think?"
The rancher then points to another and says, "That bull over there mates 3 times a week and the one over yonder mates 5 times a week". The wife turns to her husband again and says "Maybe you could learn a thing or two from that bull dear".
The husband turns to his wife and replies, "Why don't you ask our guide if that bull is mating 5 times a week with the same old cow".
Message 11/22 02-Sep-08 @ 01:17 PM - RE: Joketime
the footage from reading was so good. I downloaded it using the bbc iplayer, i tried, beleive me, to rip that edit, but the drm is stopping everything. I even tried screen recording the monitor while the video was playing... nope, they found a way to also stop that dammit!!
someone managed it tho - I spose i could stream it across to
another machine and record the input, but i'm too busy finishing the nue DT
she's playing tomorrow in london but it's sold out of course, tickets are 50-60 quid a pair on ebay & gumtree.
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I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 12/22 17-Oct-08 @ 02:55 AM - RE: Joketime
How are you doing m8? Yeah it's been a long time. 2 nights ago I was telling someone stories of dancetech.com.
I posted that joke months ago but I never saw it go up. I posted a few places and none of the posts showed.
Some of the stuff I wrote wasn't all that horrible after all
Anyway, thinking about all of you. I actually wanted to download 1 track I did because I lost it somehow. lol all these years and it's still tough being me. I can't get to my admin page. I guess you're remodeling. Site looks good K and still not bogged down which is sweet. I do miss the old skin but moving on is a good thing too.
I hope everyone is well. I imagine I'll be popping in more often again.
Message 13/22 25-Oct-08 @ 08:42 PM - RE: Joketime
admin
Posts: 11382
Link?: No link
File?: No file
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"In other countries, art and literature are left to a lot of shabby bums living in attics and feeding on booze and spaghetti, but in America the successful writer or picture-painter is indistinguishable from any other decent business man!" - Babbit
Message 14/22 25-Oct-08 @ 08:45 PM - RE: Joketime
admin
Posts: 11382
Link?: No link
File?: No file
___________________________________
"In other countries, art and literature are left to a lot of shabby bums living in attics and feeding on booze and spaghetti, but in America the successful writer or picture-painter is indistinguishable from any other decent business man!" - Babbit
Message 15/22 25-Oct-08 @ 08:57 PM - RE: Joketime
this one was presented by Brian Blessed, a royal shakespeare actor (you've seen him in films like robin hood prince of theives), and he's renowned for talking loud and doing roaring classic shakespeare voice... this was a great episode
ok.... here ya go, dunno if you find it funny
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I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 16/22 05-Nov-08 @ 06:13 PM Edit: 05-Nov-08 | 06:15 PM - RE: Joketime
this is
funny!!!
well and the 2nd 1 lol!
Message 17/22 13-Nov-08 @ 04:51 AM - RE: Joketime
his dog loves to shag women. When the guy left the bar the chick followed him out and caught up
with him. She told him she's always wanted to try sex with a dog and asked if it would be possible.
He said sure. They went to his house and in the bedroom the guy said "ok undress and get on all
4s". She did just that. The guy turned to his dog and said "ok rex, jump!" The dog stood there
looking around. Again the guy said "rex, jump!" The dog just stood there. "REX!!! JUMP DAMN IT".
Rex didn't budge so the guy dropped his drawers, got behind the woman and said, "ok rex but this
is the last time i'm showing you how to do this!"
Message 18/22 14-Nov-08 @ 02:05 PM - RE: Joketime
heh heh
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I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 19/22 16-Nov-08 @ 11:31 AM - RE: Joketime
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I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 20/22 16-Nov-08 @ 11:40 AM - RE: Joketime
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
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