 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Forums - The lounge
Subject: Joketime
Original Message Date: 08-Aug-08 @ 12:22 AM - Joketime
Hey DT! Long time! Hope everyone is well. Just heard this one the other day:
A husband and wife are taking a tour of a beef ranch. The rancher brings them over to a bull and tells them, "This bull mates 182 times a year". The wife turns to her husband and says "Wow hun that's twice a week. Impressive bull don't you think?"
The rancher then points to another and says, "That bull over there mates 3 times a week and the one over yonder mates 5 times a week". The wife turns to her husband again and says "Maybe you could learn a thing or two from that bull dear".
The husband turns to his wife and replies, "Why don't you ask our guide if that bull is mating 5 times a week with the same old cow".
A husband and wife are taking a tour of a beef ranch. The rancher brings them over to a bull and tells them, "This bull mates 182 times a year". The wife turns to her husband and says "Wow hun that's twice a week. Impressive bull don't you think?"
The rancher then points to another and says, "That bull over there mates 3 times a week and the one over yonder mates 5 times a week". The wife turns to her husband again and says "Maybe you could learn a thing or two from that bull dear".
The husband turns to his wife and replies, "Why don't you ask our guide if that bull is mating 5 times a week with the same old cow".
Message 21/22 23-Nov-08 @ 03:48 AM - RE: Joketime
LOL!
Hey K i finally wrote a track after how many years? Check it out if you have a little over 7 minutes.
It's called "10x Zero". It's actually not bad lol.
Hey K i finally wrote a track after how many years? Check it out if you have a little over 7 minutes.
It's called "10x Zero". It's actually not bad lol.
Message 22/22 10-Mar-09 @ 06:47 PM - RE: Joketime
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old.
"I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year
old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you
say something with 'ass'." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he
replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs
crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!" She then
comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU
want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know " he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
Darren was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't
find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to
Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Darren looked up again and said "Never mind. I found one."
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear onhis roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure
enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers". He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll
be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a
baseball bat, a shotgun, and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do"? The homeowner asks.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off
the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and
not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the
van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
"I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year
old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you
say something with 'ass'." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he
replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs
crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!" She then
comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU
want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know " he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"
Darren was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't
find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to
Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Darren looked up again and said "Never mind. I found one."
A man wakes up one morning to find a bear onhis roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure
enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers". He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll
be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a
baseball bat, a shotgun, and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do"? The homeowner asks.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off
the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and
not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the
van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
Pages: 1 2 3
There are 22 total messages for this topic
Reply to Thread
You need to register/login to use the forum.
Click here to Signup or Login !
[you'll be brought right back to this point after signing up]
Back to Forum
