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Forums - The lounge
Subject: More jokes
Original Message Date: 11-Oct-04 @ 05:06 PM - More jokes
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
Message 11/21 17-Nov-04 @ 08:33 AM - RE: More jokes
Message 12/21 17-Nov-04 @ 09:10 AM - RE: More jokes
in 8th grade.
but a funnier one from that era was :
what's moby dick's father's name?
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papa boner.
Message 14/21 17-Nov-04 @ 06:15 PM - RE: More jokes
Message 15/21 17-Nov-04 @ 06:54 PM - RE: More jokes
None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a
guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.
"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna fuck it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."
Message 16/21 17-Nov-04 @ 07:58 PM Edit: 17-Nov-04 | 07:59 PM - RE: More jokes
it was an iron bar
thats funny tho
bagpipes, chestnut instrument, go lovely with strings
Lajko Felix es Zenkara
for a fiddle based rendition without the drone
"...i am the man..."
Message 17/21 17-Nov-04 @ 10:51 PM - RE: More jokes
d'ya hear about the gay cowboy?
rode into town and shot up the sherrif
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 19/21 19-Nov-04 @ 11:21 PM - RE: More jokes
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"
The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
CANADIAN JOKE #2
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"
"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."
CANADIAN JOKE #3
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?"
"Sure it's easy." replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."
He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic.
As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him "I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain."
The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"
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