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Forums - The lounge
Subject: Appaling Puns
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Original Message 1/9 21-Apr-03 @ 06:10 PM - Appaling Puns
GPC
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stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Message 3/9 21-Apr-03 @ 09:09 PM - RE: Appaling Puns
Message 4/9 21-Apr-03 @ 10:26 PM - RE: Appaling Puns
and no, i didnt laugh either :p
Message 5/9 22-Apr-03 @ 12:29 AM - RE: Appaling Puns
Message 6/9 22-Apr-03 @ 12:40 AM - RE: Appaling Puns
Message 9/9 22-Apr-03 @ 12:51 PM - RE: Appaling Puns
While driving somewhere with a friend
Friend: Yogi I think we're lost
Yogi: Yea but we're making good time.
His wife one day asked him a question:
Yogi's wife: You were born in St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you work in New York. If you should go before I do where do you want to be buried?
Yogi: Surprise me.
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