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Forums - Music tracks & feedback
Subject: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
Viewing all 9 messages - View by pages of 10: 1
Original Message 1/9 23-Aug-03 @ 09:02 PM - Stuck on this song, need feedback.
Hey Guys... Check my song out at my webpage.. its called Sunrise in Disguse... I am stuck... I dont know where to go.. I need feedback on the song and where to take it. Thanks
Message 2/9 24-Aug-03 @ 03:17 AM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
cool little track.....i mean big track. of course vocals in some marc almond/andy bellish....manner would be an easy solution but if that ain't available i'd say break off the drums and find some weird waltzish-swing to let the thing float out the rest of the way. perhaps a little less high end towards the end and let some weird low-end buzz capture the flavor at it's lowest common denominator.
.>>>hey....sorry...but YOU asked!
mixing sounds very clean!
.>>>hey....sorry...but YOU asked!
mixing sounds very clean!
Message 3/9 24-Aug-03 @ 09:06 AM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
Clay, funny you should mention Andy. I was thinking Alf (I've been listening to "Upstairs at Eric's" the past couple of days).
I really like this track, I'm a sucker for that particular piano vibe, and I agree that vocals would be great. Perhaps something a bit stark to contrast the music's production.
This really does seem like a "song" (I'm still listening to it right now) and I think you should treat it as such. I wouldn't lay anything on top of the piano sections, however, because they stand well on their own - simple but effective - and anything that would mask those sections would be unfortunate.
Lyrical content will be key because I think people will be drawn in enough to actually listen to what you (or your lyricist) have to say.
It's a pretty simple track (that's a compliment) and it works, again, as a song. However, don't be afraid to do a bit of rearranging to accommodate lyrics but don't go overboard and lose the plot musically. USE THAT PIANO PART: That is your hook (despite what you may think regarding the build up) but don't just loop the track to get more mileage. Work a "bridge" (truly the hardest part of songwriting) into the arrangement, that will help you back into a position to introduce the piano part one more time.
Like Clay said, "you asked", so FWIW, those are my opinions.
One more thing - find a soulful singer (still listening) but someone who doesn't over-emote, if they don't "feel" that piano part sack 'em.
Okay, one very last thing. you may get comments about 4x4 but don't let it get you down. Like it our not you've got some "classic" elements in there and the beginnings of a catchy pop tune. Vocals, IMO, will make or break what you've already got. Good luck and hope to hear the final result.
I really like this track, I'm a sucker for that particular piano vibe, and I agree that vocals would be great. Perhaps something a bit stark to contrast the music's production.
This really does seem like a "song" (I'm still listening to it right now) and I think you should treat it as such. I wouldn't lay anything on top of the piano sections, however, because they stand well on their own - simple but effective - and anything that would mask those sections would be unfortunate.
Lyrical content will be key because I think people will be drawn in enough to actually listen to what you (or your lyricist) have to say.
It's a pretty simple track (that's a compliment) and it works, again, as a song. However, don't be afraid to do a bit of rearranging to accommodate lyrics but don't go overboard and lose the plot musically. USE THAT PIANO PART: That is your hook (despite what you may think regarding the build up) but don't just loop the track to get more mileage. Work a "bridge" (truly the hardest part of songwriting) into the arrangement, that will help you back into a position to introduce the piano part one more time.
Like Clay said, "you asked", so FWIW, those are my opinions.
One more thing - find a soulful singer (still listening) but someone who doesn't over-emote, if they don't "feel" that piano part sack 'em.
Okay, one very last thing. you may get comments about 4x4 but don't let it get you down. Like it our not you've got some "classic" elements in there and the beginnings of a catchy pop tune. Vocals, IMO, will make or break what you've already got. Good luck and hope to hear the final result.
Message 4/9 24-Aug-03 @ 11:04 AM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
Neat sounding trance, but a bit wimpy, no balls!
Piano is way cool, its def a really neat hook. lead at 2:21 should go!
But like the huys say, some vocals would be cool, nice glossy female ones!. You also need to do some stuff with your drums and bass, they get a bit boring.
Good potential... keep going.
G
Piano is way cool, its def a really neat hook. lead at 2:21 should go!
But like the huys say, some vocals would be cool, nice glossy female ones!. You also need to do some stuff with your drums and bass, they get a bit boring.
Good potential... keep going.
G
Message 5/9 24-Aug-03 @ 01:46 PM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
faster i think is needed... make it trance tempo & work some more - it's too slow right now.
Message 6/9 24-Aug-03 @ 05:48 PM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
Thanks for the feedback. It has given me ideas.
Questions:
On the vocal part, i am guessing you are saying like actually someone singing, and not the catchy one phrase lines?
Drum and Bass.. that is one of my musical weakness, I dont really know ways to change up the D and B without it throwin g the track off. Is there a good logical transistion rules for Drums?
Thanks again for the help
Questions:
On the vocal part, i am guessing you are saying like actually someone singing, and not the catchy one phrase lines?
Drum and Bass.. that is one of my musical weakness, I dont really know ways to change up the D and B without it throwin g the track off. Is there a good logical transistion rules for Drums?
Thanks again for the help
Message 7/9 24-Aug-03 @ 06:32 PM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
This better be good, I just stopped Didi (Armin's UV remix) 
The begining chords and off beat bass to follow is SO done- massivley fat pad type B&J stuff comes to mind especially.
Omg this is SO blank and jonesish of you! I like it so far
I like the piano as well. I do think it's kinda a waste of a good line on that bass sequence.
Cool pads at the break.
I don't like the lead- its to hirange and sounds like it has way to much resonance. Just use something similar to the piano sequence in a synth sound- that's the strongest point of the track.
Okay now the Main lead came in. You will get slammed for copyright infringement on that. It's nearly the same lead as that single by DJ's @ Work - minus the LAST chord. It's almost the same sound too.
That patch comes in again- its too loud.
YAY! Piano- it's cool.
Track finished.
I'm really sorry to come across as being really harsh, but this track is just done. I've heard nearly everything (EXCEPT the piano) before. Personally, I would drop everything except the piano and start from scratch with that and a new bassline.
But if you don't want to start over, here's what you should do:
Clean up the mix a bit- that resonance lead has too much err resonance and to hirange. Also get rid of the 909 kit. Experiment with some distortion and other types of ed up effects and work to have the punchey "new" trance kit sounds. Also that bass patch is finished- too old sounding. If you want to have an off-beat bassline, get something punchier and definatley louder. Make the bass and the kicks thud more. Try using some panning on your hats etc- makes these style tracks more intersting and fun.
As for vocals, I dunno about verses. Catchy one-liner like you said I think would fit better.
That's all I can really think of, sorry to rag on ya bud but if I didn't want you to get a good track out there, I would tell you it was great ;P
Let us know how the finished product sounds like!
Andrew
The begining chords and off beat bass to follow is SO done- massivley fat pad type B&J stuff comes to mind especially.
Omg this is SO blank and jonesish of you! I like it so far
I like the piano as well. I do think it's kinda a waste of a good line on that bass sequence.
Cool pads at the break.
I don't like the lead- its to hirange and sounds like it has way to much resonance. Just use something similar to the piano sequence in a synth sound- that's the strongest point of the track.
Okay now the Main lead came in. You will get slammed for copyright infringement on that. It's nearly the same lead as that single by DJ's @ Work - minus the LAST chord. It's almost the same sound too.
That patch comes in again- its too loud.
YAY! Piano- it's cool.
Track finished.
I'm really sorry to come across as being really harsh, but this track is just done. I've heard nearly everything (EXCEPT the piano) before. Personally, I would drop everything except the piano and start from scratch with that and a new bassline.
But if you don't want to start over, here's what you should do:
Clean up the mix a bit- that resonance lead has too much err resonance and to hirange. Also get rid of the 909 kit. Experiment with some distortion and other types of ed up effects and work to have the punchey "new" trance kit sounds. Also that bass patch is finished- too old sounding. If you want to have an off-beat bassline, get something punchier and definatley louder. Make the bass and the kicks thud more. Try using some panning on your hats etc- makes these style tracks more intersting and fun.
As for vocals, I dunno about verses. Catchy one-liner like you said I think would fit better.
That's all I can really think of, sorry to rag on ya bud but if I didn't want you to get a good track out there, I would tell you it was great ;P
Let us know how the finished product sounds like!
Andrew
Message 8/9 24-Aug-03 @ 06:56 PM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
Thanks for the input Broken... I like advice that hits to the point. I thionk I might take you up on that and try to rewrite the whole thing concentrating on the piano line... See what I can come up with. Maybe it will help me get out of the Trap that I am in now.
Thanks again
Thanks again
Message 9/9 26-Aug-03 @ 10:47 PM - RE: Stuck on this song, need feedback.
I'm definately with kilo on the tempo.. needs to be faster imho for what you are trying here. I like the arps which come in round 1:25- nice.. lovely sounds in the break. This is really good trance in my perception ;) but do up that tempo by at least 10 bpm, well- you dont have to of course but it would do the track justice.
-M-
-M-
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