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Forums - The lounge
Subject: Evening Classes for Men
Viewing all 28 messages - View by pages of 10: 1 2 3
Original Message 1/28 28-Jan-07 @ 04:53 PM - Evening Classes for Men
I had one of those 'deja vu' moments reading this.
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN
ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
_____________________________________________________________________________
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course including:
_____________________________________________________________________________
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FL Y TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting "It's not there!”, You’ve moved it!" or 'We've run out!" - Open forum
_____________________________________________________________________________
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role-play
HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available
Message 2/28 28-Jan-07 @ 10:26 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups
Message 3/28 29-Jan-07 @ 06:47 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
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I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 4/28 30-Jan-07 @ 03:29 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
40-ish = 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11.Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
Message 5/28 30-Jan-07 @ 07:31 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
cricket stump shoved up his backside.
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 6/28 31-Jan-07 @ 02:34 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
nme I find most of those things I can still do perfectly well even though I'm single again but eventually I have to change/fix/find them myself because there's no woman around to do it for me.....and nag about it later. It's a real catch 22.
Message 7/28 31-Jan-07 @ 09:32 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
Message 8/28 01-Feb-07 @ 12:04 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
@ PRISON you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell
@ WORK you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle
@ PRISON you get three meals a day fully paid for
@ WORK you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
@ PRISON you get time off for good behavior
@ WORK you get more work for good behavior
@ PRISON the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
@ WORK you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself
@ PRISON you can watch TV and play games
@ WORK you could get fired for watching TV and playing games
@ PRISON you get your own toilet
@ WORK you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat
@ PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit
@ WORK you aren't even supposed to speak to your family
@ PRISON all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
@ WORK you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
@ PRISON you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
@ WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
@ PRISON you must deal with sadistic wardens
@ WORK they are called managers
THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!
Message 9/28 01-Feb-07 @ 12:06 PM Edit: 01-Feb-07 | 12:10 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
milan wrote:
sitar... wife beat you at UT2k and you couldnt take it, or the other way around?
Milan...had she played UT we'd still be married.
Actually I've known many couples who play together. One couple in our WoW guild also played UT. One of their names in UT was Dv8ed, can't remember the others name in UT.
In our guild there's Ellyssana and Maineiac and a few others. It's nice to see.
Message 10/28 01-Feb-07 @ 06:27 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
Milan...had she played UT we'd still be married.
well damn me... i never would have guessed!
Message 11/28 01-Feb-07 @ 10:17 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
The toilet roll holder is beginning to look a little sparce, but I cant be arsed to go upstairs!
Bite size chunks, thats my motto!
Message 12/28 01-Feb-07 @ 11:43 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 13/28 01-Feb-07 @ 11:53 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
k wrote:
LMAO
I always thought they were a strange lot up in Hull!!!!
Message 14/28 01-Feb-07 @ 11:59 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 15/28 02-Feb-07 @ 12:01 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 16/28 03-Feb-07 @ 12:08 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
why is that so damn funny??
Message 17/28 03-Feb-07 @ 12:53 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 18/28 03-Feb-07 @ 12:54 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
"The entire performance seemingly interminable"
i've seen a few bands like that, lol
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 19/28 03-Feb-07 @ 12:58 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 20/28 03-Feb-07 @ 01:03 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
ha ha ha
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 21/28 03-Feb-07 @ 01:05 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 22/28 03-Feb-07 @ 11:37 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 23/28 10-Feb-07 @ 11:57 AM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 24/28 23-Feb-07 @ 08:02 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
Yonce N Mild
Posts: 286
Link?: No link
File?: No file
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
2. Course played on must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again!
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played on or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage a player's equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear along, just in case.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played on for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they consider to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.
12. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
13. Slow play is encouraged; however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.
14. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
15. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.
Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at a given course. The course owner may levy additional assessments and the rules are subject to change at any time. For this reason, many players prefer to continue playing on several different courses.
Message 25/28 23-Feb-07 @ 08:52 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
groan, you script writing for SITAR now?
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 27/28 23-Feb-07 @ 10:10 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
Message 28/28 23-Feb-07 @ 11:01 PM - RE: Evening Classes for Men
k wrote:
an old classic for you nme
Yeah but whats that strange thing hes doing with his hands in the picture, and what is that odd looking room he's in, I dont thing Ive seen a room like that in our house? Id better ask the missus!!!
Womens lib.............my arse!
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