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Forums - The lounge
Subject: Shopping at Tesco
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Original Message 1/4 16-Feb-07 @ 08:47 PM - Shopping at Tesco
Not sure of how much truth there is to this, but it has been doing the rounds on email lately and is funny either way!....
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Club Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
PMSL
If there is any truth to this, I pity his wife & kids having to share a home with him!!!!!
No doubt this guy brightens up an evening out on the lash!
Top man!
Message 3/4 20-Feb-07 @ 08:23 PM - RE: Shopping at Tesco
I wish I had a link to pic I thought was hilarious but someone sent it to me in an email.
It's a windows message box that informs you:
"You have been online for one year"
Then asks:
"Do you wish to Log Off and get a Life?"
After which you have 3 options:
Yes
N o
and a radial button you can click that says:
"Remind me next year"
Message 4/4 20-Feb-07 @ 09:42 PM - RE: Shopping at Tesco
[image file]
heh heh
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
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