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Forums - The lounge
Subject: some words of advice
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Original Message 1/4 08-Dec-08 @ 01:09 PM Edit: 08-Dec-08 | 01:22 PM - some words of advice
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math
disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended in a tie.
8. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,
'No change yet.'
14. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
15. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
16. Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.
On another note here is the story about my Halloween this year. At the last minute I went to
buy a costume. The only one left at the store was one that showed how many miles there are
to an inch. Reluctantly I bought it and went home to look through my spice rack. Luckily I found
the spice I was looking for and after putting on the costume I doused myself in the spice. So
you were right. If you saw me this Halloween, I was indeed a legend in my own thyme.
Message 2/4 20-Dec-08 @ 05:20 AM - RE: some words of advice
I was dreading the Christmas chomp as my nephew or my dad usually win outright in the corny joke contest -- but now I'm well armed with some Stilton-grade reprisals!
Message 3/4 20-Dec-08 @ 10:31 AM - RE: some words of advice
Musineer Productions wrote:
Ho ho.
I was dreading the Christmas chomp as my nephew or my dad usually win outright in the corny joke contest -- but now Im well armed with some Stilton-grade reprisals!
A-stolen!
Message 4/4 21-Dec-08 @ 09:40 AM - RE: some words of advice
I used to work with this guy who said his dad did this routine every single christmas when they sat round the table pulling the christmas crackers. When it cam his turn to read out the included corny joke, he'd apparently read:
"Help Help! Please help me. I am being held against my will in this christmas cracker factory! If anyone gets this note...."
etc
lol
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
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