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Forums - The lounge
Subject: hehe even funnier... news...
Viewing all 15 messages - View by pages of 10: 1 2
Original Message 1/15 17-May-10 @ 06:02 PM - hehe even funnier... news...
A West Yorkshire cannabis grower died of hyperthermia after halogen lamps in his illicit indoor dope plantation heated his house to a fatal 38°C, the Sun reports.
Luke Holmes, 28, constructed "three foil-lined tents each containing marijuana plants", nurtured by a "battery" of halogens. He died in bed and was discovered by friends three days later in the property in Halifax.
Police officers "almost fainted from the heat when they entered the property on a warm day last June", the Sun explains.
An inquest in Bradford "heard that Holmes was a drug user, although no drugs were found in his system". His death was declared an accident, provoked by fatal overheating
nobhead!
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I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 3/15 31-May-10 @ 09:41 PM Edit: 31-May-10 | 09:50 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"
The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious
condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they
would explode and he would most likely die instantly."
"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If
I'm
going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to
make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the
doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it,
and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup
was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, I tried
with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right
hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right
hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!
Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
Message 4/15 04-Jun-10 @ 03:56 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
classic, but i bet it's been taken down from youtube by those total spoil-sports F*X
hang on.... nah, f*cking fox, they ruined a nice social movement of swapping famguy jokes. it's not like the whole damned shows are online.
but hey, they aint getting my money anymore so their parsimonious technique is definately helping sales........ not
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 5/15 04-Jun-10 @ 04:45 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
but fox news has gained an insurmountable reputation for fabricating news and twisting facts to fit its
political agenda.
Message 6/15 05-Jun-10 @ 02:15 AM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
NastyM
Posts: 294
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To be honest i keep a waking eye on the press but what the hell, if i thought for a minute my opinion could ever change a nations view (or my one vote combined with a horde of minority voters) could change thier view id give a shit - but in all reallity i could beat myself senseless chasing none viable causes just let it go.
lifes too short to give a fuck.
enjoy what you enjoy, occasionally change youre parameters but just get on with it.
my kids enjoy being dragged up hills, being dipped in water, and generally exploring lifes surprises.
why should we not try to appreciate the same?
Message 7/15 05-Jun-10 @ 02:54 AM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
days of the 1980s i've been warning anyone who asked about the ills of wall street and corporate
culture in america. i couldn't help being pissed when i saw europe begin to hop on the capitalist
bandwagon, knowing they were going to go off the cliff too. i was shocked to see most americans,
including those where i worked jumping up and down with glee as they watched the shock and awe
campaign on their computers, believed that saddam was behind 9/11 and had wmds, and believed
rumsfeld when he said at a press conference the iraq campaign would be over in "4-6 weeks, 3 to 4
months at the very most". i figure i have to say something because those on the dark side are not
going to stop deceiving. now we have this gulf oil spill, brought to us by greed and deregulation. fox's
poster girl sarah palin of "drill baby drill" notoriety is now claiming she never promoted offshore
drilling. thank heaven there are such things as video footage and youtube to show those with short
memories or selective fact filtering that she is lying...once again. i know my voice doesn't much
matter but a drop in the bucket is still a drop in the bucket.
Message 8/15 05-Jun-10 @ 03:16 AM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
NastyM
Posts: 294
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File?: No file
As you can see my life is also very complicated ... The late Sadam and foriegn affairs can only infuriate me further.
If i am pressed on such matters i can only ever voice my opinion on how shallow the view of the majority of my western counterparts appears to be.
dont get me wrong here i have never sympathized with any tyrranical dictatorship, but for FU*K sake i find it sickening the fact we mourn our troops killed in the tens / hundreds against relatively massive numbers of innocent civilians killed in foriegn parts.
why do we value the lives of our soldiers and western civilians over those of our eastern counterparts, is this morally justified.
My wife has recently (for 3 days) mourned the loss of a cat (tearfully) yet 12 lives in Cumbria gained little more than moderate compassion - 120 lives in Afghan / Iraq even less.
How can we justify / proportion our sentiments.
Message 9/15 05-Jun-10 @ 04:52 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
it's time to go on the offensive and launch your own campaign...shock and thaw!
i hear ya and all that you mentioned is appalling. i swear i live in a country where most of its citizens
keep trying to put square pegs into round holes. suggest putting the round pegs into the round holes
and you're a socialist.
i need to get a haircut too. sorry to hear about your cat.
Message 10/15 05-Jun-10 @ 05:21 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
fox is distributor of family guy see... but yeah, fox is also 'white-power' murdoch so of course they actively promote killing brown people
anyways... senior citizen pron sketch
basicaly the doorbell rings and the old lady opens the door and the old guy is there, and the conversation is hilarious
this is the best i can find which is pathetic frankly
Fox cancelled this show again and again and it was we the fans who showed them via youtube and dvd sales that it was the biggest selling dvd tv series.... then when fox finaly got it due to us, the fans, and as soon as they realised how big it was, THEN they clamped down and removed all clips from the web...C&NTS!!!
so Fox can fuck themselves imo - they aint getting any more money from me, the cheap chiselling bastards that they are
Sorry about your pussy too Nasty
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 11/15 05-Jun-10 @ 05:54 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
in the u.s. fox has glen beck, amongst other morons on the air. beck is constantly making totally
inane statements including racist ones. many sponsors pulled their ads from his show a number of
months ago because of something he said. fox keeps him on the air though. he's now facing heat for
telling his audience to buy gold while one of his remaining sponsors sells gold for 10 times its worth.
about a year ago beck did a presentation to demonstrate that the rockefeller plaza building in which
msnbc has its offices is secretly a commie building. the lobby of the building is art deco. one piece of
"evidence" he produced was that on the wall murals amidst many images are the images of a farmer
cutting away with a sickle and a carpenter with a hammer. they were put there as a tribute to
american workers but beck told his audience the hammer and sickle were added as a veiled support
of the soviet flag and apparently his audience considers his word to be gospel. holy crap!
Message 12/15 06-Jun-10 @ 01:04 PM Edit: 06-Jun-10 | 01:12 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
cuz they both talk sick.
tim vine should consider hiring me
Message 13/15 10-Jun-10 @ 01:55 AM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
pict
Posts: 1005
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Ultimately we can only ever have security from hunger,homelessness and war if everybody has the same security.Capitalism can only provide security and plenty for the few it is inevitable that it will fail because the need of the masses is a much greater force than the greed of the bosses.I'm not trying to suggest blueprints for some Utopia but I do believe that striving for the impossible will lead us to what is possible.If all we aim for in life is personal gratification how many worthwhile aspects of our humanity will simply be evolved away and what will we become without those aspects.
Ghandi said"whatever you do will be insignificant but it is important that you do it anyway"
Message 14/15 10-Jun-10 @ 03:21 AM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
pict wrote:
Ghandi said "whatever you do will be insignificant but it is
important that you do it anyway"
yeah. he was talking about my tracks.
seriously though...i agree with you. and with Ghandi.
Message 15/15 18-Jun-10 @ 07:20 PM - RE: hehe even funnier... news...
women. they expect it to be on the market soon. that's great. the elderly will find love again, get
married, and honeymoon at viagra falls!
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